4 years and coming clean about relationships on youtube and facebook pt1

 I have said it that it is hard to close down the Toru Takanaru channel and it is. I am still conflicted with Ideas and they are great ones and whether or not I will act upon them I will see. I am waiting for a certain situation in my life to grow and then I can really make a decision whether or not I want to continue. I know now what I must do to get to that decision making part of my life. I still make videos for other other channels. Last week I made four videos in one day and did not feel the same like I used to making videos for youtube channels. A lot of people ask me how this all got started and I am sure the rumors are tremendously bad but the truth is I like music and I just do not like music. I love music. When an opening came to be part of any music no matter how bad it is or good it is . I want to be a part of it. When I get up in the morning I sing. I sing about friends I sing about Family. I make fun songs in my head. I really do not like sad songs because they make me sad if I want to cry I will listen to sad songs. I want to dance and I want to feel alive that is why I love music so much. I have said it before I did not get into J-pop or K-pop dance community I was invited into it. Although I am not as active as I was before I could come back anytime. I have enjoyed my break on so many levels but I am sad I am not in it as well. At one time I tried to delete my facebook to keep from thinking about the memories I had with some of you which brings me to the point about relationships in the J-pop and K-op community.

 There is so many stories I would love to tell and eventually I will but I feel I gained a trust with some of you. A person told me if you are worried about trust just do not mention the names. The problem is many people are already assuming I am talking about someone else. I would say that if I talk about a dancer and experience they Immediately think about probably three. I would say Sage, YUka, and Anime voice Kiddo. The Truth they are in a different age group then I am the Dancers that have affected me the most emotionally are not them. It was easier for me to connect emotionally to others as far as the humor and the determination to succeed. There is an audience that is harder to impress. I would say there has been hurt in my life when I have had to disconnect from any dancer. It does make me hurt on the inside but it seemed there was another dancer to take that dancer's place. It is like what my friend dancer said to me once when a dancer did not show up to one of our meets she said" if she does not want to do it there are about 200 who will." She is right you know.

 When I started the Midwest Asian Music Dancers. My Relationship with each dancer had to be professional. I could not and still do not have favorites. I however was put in a position when we actually had real talent and that scared the you know what out of me. She was good,experienced and graceful. If I had stayed with it my goal would have been to get her every Audition I could because she was that good. I would of done it for her because I was so grateful. I understood what it was like to be a college basketball coach who had great talent and the fear of losing that talent. That is what it was like. Midwest Asian Music Dancers was a  college and these athletes were not getting paid so the only way I could help was by sending emails to everyone I know to get them noticed. I would of done anything for them to see them on stage where they needed to be. Why did I close it? I could not get any help. I actually went one day to talk to a cameraman and it turned out he had problems. No one wanted to help. I could of continued but there was lack of volunteering a lack of understanding that you have to do things for free sometimes to finally to get where you want to be. I really need people who could donate time in the winter times just as much time during the summertime. That is in the past though I cannot dwell on that now.

 Okay lets talk about the juicy stuff okay you want to hear about relationships. I will talk about relationships. There are different types of people there always will be. Okay I want to come clean with three that meant a lot to me in the past and that will be Anime Voice Kiddo, Sage and Yukapon and how they have effected me and they do define different characteristics of people.

   Awe Sage how I love thee you are the most emotional person I have ever worked with and had the honor to work with. You want to talk about bad timing. I previously talked about why I wanted to work with Sage and It would have worked out. Sage is very emotional and she will go with passing fads and I really see J-pop as a passing fad in her life. I would never date anyone like Sage because she becomes bored too easily and that is not a bad thing it just you have to be creative in a relationship to overcome that. You have to make their schedule filled and you have to surprise them every time you can.. She is ADHD on crack. I have had people say she is crazy. She is not crazy her life must be totally consumed with something going on or she will die LOl. That is what it is like with an Emotional or sanguine  person. Sage had some personal Problems to work with so we went elsewhere for a while. I want to say thanks to Sage's Mom she has been cool about all this we had ups and downs but Sage owes us absolutely nothing. I feel like we owe her more. I wanted and always wanted to pay her back but it is like when we did not have Sage there it seemed someone would always step in the lime light. I feel like there were dancers who said "seriously Forget about her and donate your time with me". The problem with those dancers they were not connected social media to me where I thrived and I think dancers do get notice on Social media so imagine good dancers without Social media desire and that is what you get when talk about the Kaci's and The Alyssa's in the world. Good Dancers without Contacts. You have to balance them both out to get notice. If you have to pay your little brother to be the social and Public Relations Guy do it.

 I have to come clean about Yuka-pon. No one person has effected me in my life social media wise then her. I have met and worked with famous people and they come and go . I met mostly country people working in and around the Nashville area. I am not too impressed with Country. I hate music celebrity worship . They do not impress me. I would have probably kiss the artist butt just like everyone else did in the seventies to get artists like Led Zeppelin, Van Halen and The Who and the reason you do that is you want their business. I have said this before it would be probably five years ago my company that I worked for talked to Fujimoto and we lost our chance to work with Rebekah from Bekluvsdiru so I came up with a plan for an artist to tour Anime Conventions. These were the Stipulations for the show. 1. They had to dance or Sing J-pop. 2. They had to sing or dance K-pop and 3. They had to have a sense of humor they had to have the ability to laugh and laugh at themselves as well. We had the money to invest in a business at the time we had the recording business doors opens. I was interested in management as a side business. I looked at Yuka-pon and really liked her and showed her to other people. I could not believe the reactions of positivity she got. Everyone liked her. I knew she was the closest dancer to our present company. I had a problem I felt she would not be willing to do the sense of humor and I had my eye on somebody who I felt was funny and really was what I wanted. She was the approachable next door girl quality that everyone wanted in the social network. Yuka-pon and Venus Angelic were starting to get this separation from everyone as though they were distancing themselves from the community. Yuka is not like Venus at all in fact she is a performer. The problem Venus is going to have to work out is what are you going to have her do for two hours? You cannot have a show and get people to pay to watch someone eat and put on make up. I like Venus I love her I like her Mother but they are going to have to develop a show if they want to perform and get new fans. Yuka can perform I have seen it. They both have proven themselves to be better than Mega bon though. Her fans are nothing but freaks . People who sit and watch a girl staring at a camera and eating . Screw that!!!  We could of worked something out with Yuka-pon but we didn't. Do I regret? Sure I do but It let me learn about the business another year that I knew nothing about . The money went to a taco business which did well better than I thought. The girl I wanted turn my offer down. I thought maybe that this management thing is not to be. Tacos I understand. J-pop not so much. I love music but it is a big risk.  Once Yuka and the joint venture happened. I really saw the ugliness of the Community. Everything from a creepy for editing videos comment to some dancers had stop talking to me you have heard that story. I really saw the green eyed jealous monster come out it was a disgusting world that I really did not want to be a part of. I saw Yuka perform and entertain and that's what I saw but stupid people tried to analyze her songs . It scared me. I make videos to entertain and should be entertained by them and there are few dummies who will sit there and ask some of the dumbest questions like why did you do this?  I would respond because it is fun and it brings joy to my life and I wanted to share and some people got joy out of it. There are those who think entertainment should always have meaning. That it should always be a message inside the song or video.Yuka and I both were raised in Church and I think we understand that Church or if you are Jewish Temple or Buddhist Temple or even a Mosque. These are places you seek for truth and Enlightenment and School and Work these are Places where we should develop our minds and sometimes a social support group. If you are looking for God in my videos you need help. You really do. You are looking for some hidden agenda in Yuka videos? You are warped. She developed a Character and a Dang good character far better than Venus far better than Any other magical girl rip offs. She created a world of enchantment for young girls to lose themselves in. In a world where Americans shove Sexuality through music for young girls. Where rappers think that every girl is a Prostitute and they are pimps and the Girl Pop stars act like Prostitutes. Yuka became a Likeness of the Magical Girl that little girls could like. You know what? She did it on her own no help from no one. The problems became too real for me. I was afraid that my association with her would ruin her career and we all know what she wanted and I could not give her that. I could not have a relationship with her professionally I had nothing to offer her. If she wanted to stay in America it might be different. I hated to tell her mom that we had plans for her but she was working other plans elsewhere. I was glad for her. I was working with other dancers at the time but seriously they could not hold a candle to Yuka's Determination. I did not know of one at the time.

If you took two minds  that could read each other. You would have the team that was Sean and Anime Voice Kiddo. Kiddo and Sean both had thoughts that collaborate well with each other. She was ripe for the entertainment business and she wanted to do the entertainment business. Again bad timing put her in a place where we could not work together. Kiddo is not afraid to work she was always up to get where she wanted to get. I remember Sean talking to a recording Industry guy in Nashville if things were going to work out that in the summer he wanted to manage Anime Voice Kiddo and get Yuka a real Manger.Emails were sent some people actually refuse to look at Yuka's stuff. It was frustrating. The biggest blow was however was at the time was actual local Japanese acts like Star Marie or even Japanese Idols Flying to perform at Anime conventions. I love Yuka but can you imagine actually her competing with a Real  Akihabara Idol for concert time at Anime Blues. The sanity came when Sean said" What music do you Hate?" " I hate country!" I would say" What if Someone hates Country and you keep trying to sell them Country? We have to accept these people do not want to buy what we are selling" . I remember when Sean let everyone know that he wanted to make videos for political gain. At the time of  The Sandy Hook Massacre happened it was scary. People thought they were coming to take your weapons away. Whether you agree with the Second Amendment or not videos about the second Amendment get views and Sean was getting more views than any video with the luscious Cole or the Cute Jasmine.  We moved on and I remember Mark Levin talking on the radio about doing what you love and doing something fulfilling." Sean feels he loves the J-pop Idols and Kpop Dancers but he is fulfilled when he helps people understand Gun rights and things like that. His plans for Kiddo changed then in February 2013 and hoped she understood that he was moving on to other things the Anime conventions are tiring and the excitement of a girl  about Asian Music from up to down is an emotional roller coaster. This blog will continue with the Strange relationships in the J-pop  and K-Pop Community